I miss you, deary.

I miss holding your hand, tightly.
Then you share your story and I listen quietly.
Then you smile, brightly.

I miss that moment, deary.

Photo taken from here

rasa

Melelahkan.
Melelahkan merasionalisasi rasa yang sepertinya tidak dapat dirasionalisasi.

Menyakitkan.
Menyakitkan berusaha merasa untuk sesuatu yang tidak terasa.

Menunggu.
Hanya bisa menunggu, tapi untuk apa?
Menunggu rasa itu datang?

 Apa saya yang sudah mati rasa?

selfish

Okay, let me explain.
I became silent for no reason.
I was mad for no reason.
I let you became puzzled, FOR NO REASON.
So why don't you go and seek another women so I would stop torture you???
Why? WHY DON'T YOU GO???

sometimes...

sometimes it hurts very bad.
sometimes I think I can't make it.

imagine things in my head, mostly bad.
mostly about two people laugh together
with friends around them,
while I'm just an outsider, feels like a stupid girl.

sometimes it hurts so damn deep.
sometimes I think I should give up, for the best.

but here I am, still here.
in the name of my heart I make myself hang on here.
or my fear, mostly fear of being alone.
or maybe fear of losing my self-confidence.

I think I know what I should do, it is just me afraid of those possibilities.