I think I can, love.

"Don’t quit because something went wrong. 
Quit because you tried your hardest and nothing made it better." 

Loving someone is never easy for me.

I never taught to love someone, because I never felt being loved by anybody. How do you know you love someone if you never being loved? How do you know the feeling?

My relationship is messy. It is mostly because of ME.
It is me who never believe. 
When he came into my life and said "I love you", I  said "I love you too" while I didn't know for sure what I felt. I just said it because I think that was the right answer. And yes, I didn't believe what he said, but I tried to. Because it was more comfortable to ignore all the other feelings. It felt good being loved. So I let him into my life, while I knew for sure that I wasn't ready. Truthfully speaking, I never ready to jump in any relationship. My relationship is messy because I AM MESSY.

After years of my relationship, I know for sure that the best thing I could do is fix myself.
But I always too afraid of losing him.
He is the first person whom I attached to very deep. He isn't just boyfriend, he is my best friend also.
And he is the first person who make my life feel this good. I mean, very good. 
Fortunately, he never let me to lose him. He always said "No". I am lucky.

And then I learned: To stop being a quitter. 
I used to gave up when things gone uneasy.
I was wrong. He taught me that.
I haven't tried my best. 

It is never fair to not letting someone loving you just because you don't believe it. And it is more not fair if you never tried to love him back. 

It is not easy, it is hard. But I can learn, can't I?

Thanks love.

2 komentar:

  1. tepuk tangan sambil jumpalitan!!!!!!

    WHOAAWW!!! udah lama ga buka2 blog lo, terusan liat2 tuliasan lo.. weeeew!!!
    betapa yaaa... how mature u r! ckckck.... emang ga pernah salah gue temenan sama lo ren :D

  2. eh gua bingung ya pas baca ada komen yg harus diapprove dan yang komen namanya dii. dii sahaaaa??? dii-rinya? dii-riku? dii-h eluuu! hahahhaha. terus yaa baca komen lo gua bingung mau jawab apa, abis klo lo muji gua suka curiga buahahahhaa. thanks for reading ya dii-hhhh eluuuu! hahahaha.